Whilst writing this I have 9 days before my A- level exams are approaching and I think its fair to say I'm panicking. A lot. Generally if people aren't confident they know all the information they need in order to get a good grade for an exam then they revise until they know it. For me I do the opposite - bury my head in the sand. Unlike everyone else I have done little revision, not because I'm confident I'll breeze through the exam but because I feel so overwhelmed I have so much to do. I could have started revising months ago but instead chose not to. WHY. OH GOD WHY. I do this with absolutely everything, leave it to the last minute and then feel sick with panic that I've run out of time.
My GCSE's were a nightmare, I achieved relatively good grades but leading up to the exams I broke out in acne, had panic attacks and did a lot of crying. This was mainly due to the fact I pretended none of it was happening and then realised 'shit I've got a week until my exams'. When I got my results I cried with relief, not happiness but relief, whether or not I went to 6th form with all of my friends was riding on those results so I thank God I got in. After that I promised myself I wouldn't do that to myself again, a year later and I'm in exactly the same position. However although I'm freaking out I'm trying to remain calm. The pressure they piled on us last year for GCSE's was unbelievable, my mindset was if I didn't do well the rest of my future was ruined. I get some people thrive on pressure but other people, such as myself, just completely broke down and couldn't cope.
Therefore although I realise these exams are very important, they aren't everything and I think that's something important to keep in mind. Although its important to work as hard as you can to achieve your full potential you can still achieve other things in life as well as exams. Just because someone gets A*s in all their subjects doesn't mean they are a superior or a better person than someone who gets B's or C's, they might be a complete bitch and because of that not get very far in life. This year has been very draining, I've had a lot of personal stuff going on I've had to deal with and coping with that and the huge amount of school work has been really difficult. Although I will regret not putting in the months of revision some others will have done I'm going to be happy with the results I get. I'm proud of myself for a number of things I've done this year and school in comparison just seems a lot less significant.
Congrats if you read the whole thing, sorry for the lack of photos but this was a very last minute, spur of the moment post. Good luck for anyone doing exams at the moment, just try your best and try to not panic so much - I'll be trying to follow my own advice!
Love, Laura x
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